Karen’s Anti-Mask Crusade

I’ve historically tried to be the friendly, “don’t rock the boat” kind of guy. Some of it may come from psychological issues I have with confrontation, but I think I mainly grow tired of people being mean and hateful to one another – usually through a screen – and I don’t want to contribute to that. So, most days I ignore heated debates on social media and post positive memes or funny shit to try to neutralize it. Today isn’t one of those days.

I’ve had a lot of questions for these people who seem so fucking intent on pushing this anti-mask narrative during the Covid-19 pandemic, and today I think the amount of questions has reached a tipping point. Let’s dive right in…

So, you don’t want to wear a mask. But, why the Crusade against them? This I don’t understand. The US is mostly free in that you can get away with a lot of shit, whether there is a rule, law, or social norm against it, and masks are no exception. So, you’ve decided for whatever reason (we’ll get into soon enough) that no one’s gonna make you wear a damn mask. Then don’t. But my real question here is, WHY are you so adamant about ‘spreading the message’ and making sure other people don’t wear one? How is someone using a mask hurting you? Why all the social media posts trying to convince us all that we should follow your lead? Why do you give a fuck if I wear a mask in the supermarket or not? I am genuinely confused by this.

Perhaps you don’t like the word “compliance.” Why, exactly? Where were you when those bastards decided to make us wear seat belts? How about the security theater known as TSA? You might mumble under your breath while you hold your pants up because they made you take off your belt for some stupid reason, but I missed your Facebook post asking us all to stop flying because the government is trying to make us comply with their dumb safety regulations. Would you resist arrest to ensure you don’t comply? Surely, you comply when society and the law asks that you not force sex upon someone who is unwilling. I’m confused about how complying with something automatically makes it wrong.

I’m so tired of all of the damn conspiracy theorists having such a loud voice. Let me ask you this, ‘Mr/Ms. Knew It All Along’… What exactly is the government’s motive with the masks? Once they get all of us sheep lined up with our masks on, what are they going to do? And if it’s such a grand conspiracy, why does the entire planet seem to be in on it? This is starting to sound a little too much like a comic book. Is Lex Luthor pulling his shit again with the masks?

While we’re on the subject of the big conspiracy, why isn’t the Fed more involved? Why are all of the states fighting each other about whose method is best? And why isn’t anyone taking rural vs urban areas into account on their rant? Where is the overlord cohesive control mechanism? Are there like 50 different mask conspiracies going on at once in varying degrees? Let me guess, yours just happens to be the most suffocating, right? Pun intended.

How exactly is putting a mask on while you shop for groceries or sit in a Clinic waiting room harming you? And don’t give me this crap about low Oxygen or too much Carbon Dioxide – I’ve had far too much H2S training to buy it. Many professions wear masks as part of their job for several hours at a time and we’ve got someone over here bitching about how they’re light-headed because they had a bandanna on their face for 30 minutes. Horseshit. Oxygen levels are safe when between 19.5-22.0% of atmosphere. Stop hiding behind your lack of convenience to try to act like a victim. Here, use this. Oh, you want to play the ‘special case’ card, I see. “You have severe asthma. You have some disease we’re not allowed to ask you about because of HIPAA laws. Etc.” That applies to about 50,000 out of 328M, and none of them read this blog. Knock it off and stop being a pain in everyone’s ass. Really? You REALLY are a special case?? Fine, have your sister/uncle/wife get your groceries. Briefly lift your mask to use your inhaler. There’s no need for this crusade to get us all to stick it to the man.

Here’s a question for you: If you succeed in getting us all to tell the government to suck one and ditch the masks… what then would you have us do, what’s your next move? (seems a little like you’re trying to get us to comply with YOUR wishes now, actually)

Obviously, Covid-19 hasn’t affected you (yet, if ever), so you don’t care. Fine. Do you go on the same crusade against clean water and hunger issues in other countries that also don’t affect you? How about taxes that help the homeless in the US? Do you go on crusades against all of the things that don’t affect you, or only the ones that also inconvenience you?

I’m really trying to figure out if you’re trying to make the case that Covid-19 doesn’t exist (perhaps that it’s a hoax) or are you trying to make the case that masks are detrimental to slowing down an airborne respiratory contagion? I’d assume you’re saying that Covid-19 isn’t serious enough to warrant containment measures that utilize masks. Perhaps you should visit an ICU (oh wait, you can’t because they’re full and taking this seriously).

Mostly, I want to know why you’re promoting division in our society. Why can’t we all just try to work together for once? It’s not even asking us to work against another human enemy, but a biological threat TO humanity. (Not an existential one, but a real pain in our ass, nonetheless) How is everyone working together such a bad thing? Why do you keep slipping turds into the punch bowl when you could just keep your mouth shut and let the people who ARE trying to combat the virus do their best? Why do you always have to complain and find something wrong with other humans when we should all be trying to find common ground against a common enemy?

Is it possible that you are in agreement with certain suggestions that are simple and convenient (like washing hands) and in disagreement with the suggestions that are inconvenient (like wearing a mask in public)? Be honest…

How about this one – if the president made a strong stance (one could argue that he has) either FOR or AGAINST masks, would that change your opinion about wearing them? I’m guessing, in a very general way, that if you dig the current president, you’re going to follow his lead, and if you hate the current president, you are going to go out of your way to be different than him. I have some breaking news, though… no virus cares about politics or partisan lines. I know, I was bummed out when I heard that, too.

Look, my point here is not actually to convince or dissuade you from wearing a fucking mask (although I think it’s smart around strangers). Instead, My Crusade is to get people to stop being a douche about it and start working together instead of acting out your own FOX or CNN channel on social media, trying to pit us against one another. You don’t want to wear a mask? FINE. But shut up about your rights and all of that shit. Stop hiding behind convenience to throw a tantrum to not only your friends but the people working in various establishments who are risking their health so that your life can be at least a little normal.

And stop sensationalizing this stuff (I’d suggest you roll your eyes when you see it – any news that has to be jazzed up with sensationalism wasn’t great news to begin with). I know that emotions spark interest and action, but these over-the-top comparisons and exaggerated superlatives are totally unnecessary and adding fuel to the fire when discussing the best paths forward.


C’mon, man. Just try to realize that everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got. Sometimes it’s flawed, sometimes your shit is flawed. But I see no reason to go on a Crusade to gather people to your side like you’re at war, especially when you’re not a relative expert. If you’re the one who has flawed information, it could be detrimental to a human cause. Even in an upside-down world like 2020, that’s not cool.

Now that I’ve word-vomited a satisfying amount, let me just make my point clear (or try to, at least):

Wear a mask or Don’t wear a mask (I’d prefer you DO wear a mask in public places with strangers nearby, but I’m not going to berate you about it). The mask is not the point. Just stop this crusade where you make it a political statement and try to draw a line in the sand where everyone is with or against you. That’s not helpful. Just play nice and let’s get through this stupid shit together, good? Good.

Thanks for reading my rant, and I really do hope you are safe and healthy.

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